Just can't hold it in...

I'm sorry that this is so choppy and broken up. I was just about to go to bed when I just had to tell someone... anyway, I wanted to share it with even more people, so I copied what I was typing in my IM and posted it here for you to read:

I've felt kinda distant from God for awhile, like I'm just cruising through life barely supported by Him. I knew it wasn't right, but didn't have the guts to just stay in one place praying until I was right with Him

Today I've been a little scared, because I'm taking these girls to camp to learn about Christ, to give them an opportunity to get away from 'normal' life and focus solely on our Awesome Father

...but how on earth could I show them how worthy He is of our unwavering adoration if I myself didn't feel it?

And so I said the simplest prayer ever

I just said, God, please bring me close to You so that I can show them Your glory

...and he heard me Tacia!

He was always listening

even when I felt miles away, He was right there beside me

so now I feel a little scared, because I can 'see' Him again, and He's glorious, and Powerful, All-knowing, and so... holy

so high above my highest

like we're not even in the same universe

and if I was to draw near to Him i would burn up in an instant

man, I'm just gonna have to blog this

anyway, I'm also so encouraged!

I mean, after seeing how unworthy I am, I've seen how worthy He is

and yet He's taken mercy on me a Sinner with a capital 'S'

WOW!

I don't know whether to cry or shout

But I'm going to have to go to bed

I just have to tell you one more time how GREAT our God is

not just our God... THE God

The Only God. The One True God

If only I can get that One point across to these girls this week, my whole life will have had a purpose.

If one more person could see what it is that makes me ridiculously happy for no apparent reason...

If one more person could see why... I dunno... why I'm happy!

I know I keep going back to that, but I am SO happy! 

And trust me, I haven't had anything, haven't done anything out of the ordinary except one whispered prayer

And I didn't even 'feel' anything then. 

Mr. Schembre said it best one Wednesday - "We live by faith, not feel." or something very, very similar.

I just wish I could always feel like this.

Praise God for being God! Praise Him for the air we breathe! Praise Him for the ability to read this, to type this! Praise Him for the mercy He shows us in not wiping us out and starting over with a perfect creation! Oh how great God is!!! 

"Let the godly exult in glory;

"let them sing for joy on their beds." -Psalm 149:5 ESV

Good night.