We dream in the night of a King and a Kingdom where Joy writes the Songs and the Innocent sing Them

And when he had taken the scroll, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb, each holding a harp, and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. Revelation 5:8

And another angel came and stood at the altar with a golden censer, and he was given much incense to offer with the prayers of  all the saints on the golden altar before the throne, and the smoke of the incense, with the prayers of the saints, rose before God from the hand of the angel. Revelation 8:3,4

Have you ever sat and watched incense burn? It's mesmerizing. The smoke swirls up, sometimes smooth, sometimes jerking around at the smallest invisible puff of air. Dancing slowly up and out, it hangs about you in a faint cloud, and then melts into a sweet, woody scent that stays with you long after it has all burned away. So far it's the loveliest, most peaceful way I've found to make my room smell nice.

This evening as I lit a stick of frankincense, I was thinking about how strict God was in his regulations on which incense was burned when in the temple. It made sense to me that God would want something so beautiful and sweet to be a part of worshipping Him. And then I remembered these verses in Revelation.

He enjoys our prayers like that! OUR prayers! Part of me wonders if He made the burning of incense such a beautiful thing just to show us what our prayers are like to Him. He probably had many more wonderful reasons that I'm not noticing, but it's a special thought.

Another thing I noticed about incense is that the stick itself gets almost no attention at all. I light it and it slowly smokes down to ash. All of the focus is on the pleasure that the product of its burning gives me.

That's me, you know? On my own, I'm nothing special. I look no different than the lame little punk you get to help you light fireworks, except that I've been coated with something that turns my burning into something beautiful.

Here I am, living a life that seems so pathetically insignificant. Every day the ember moves further down and more of my life is ash. And yet! And yet this lame life drives me day after day to prayer, and that prayer is more beautiful, more cherished than I could ever imagine! These prayers that seem so insignificant are swirling up before God, and He enjoys them!

It's a humbling, trembling thought that someone as unimportant as I could be pleasing to Him (only through Christ, of course)! Maybe right now He doesn't want me to be some bonfire of passion and action. Maybe He just wants a little incense stick to smolder her way to eternity and fill the air with the sweet scent of her prayers.

I can do that. By the grace of God, I can do that!

*Title taken from lyrics by Andrew Peterson in his song 'Carry the Fire'

Flowers & Strangers

As promised, I haven't posted much this month. Life has been crazy! I really don't have time to be posting this, but I'd probably end up wasting this much time anyway, so I might as well attempt to use my time for something meaningful.

A voice says, “Cry!”
    And I said, “What shall I cry?”
All flesh is grass,
    and all its beauty is like the flower of the field.
The grass withers, the flower fades
    when the breath of the Lord blows on it;
    surely the people are grass. 
The grass withers, the flower fades,
    but the word of our God will stand forever.

Isaiah 40:6-8

...because like a flower of the grass he will pass away. For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits.

James 1:10b-11

I always read these verses and thought of the frailness of life, of how we live for such a short, relatively unimportant time, and then leave this world forever. But the other day as I was reading through Isaiah, I noticed the word "beauty" for the first time, and I started thinking. Scripture compares the life of a human with the life of grass pretty frequently, and it's a sobering comparison. But it never occurred to me that it might not be a bad thing.

Flowers are beautiful, especially wildflowers! I love to see fields where wild Daisies or Queen Anne's Lace, or Black-eyed Susans are dancing around with the browns and greens of grasses left to themselves. Really, few sights in creation have ever made me feel as happy and free as that one. But it's a view that I can never enjoy for long. If it doesn't end up in a haybale, the heat of Summer fries them to a crisp (which gives me yet another reason to hide in the air-conditioned house).

Like the flowers of the field, life is short, but, oh! so beautiful! Like a wildflower, there is a raw beauty to life that only its Creator could have given it. 

And like the grass, the end could come at any time, and is a certain thing. Maybe the flower will fall off just as the bud has begun to open, or maybe the grass will slowly wither away. Maybe it will be mown down unexpectedly, or maybe it will fade from the world long after it has faded from memory. 

The fact is, we don't know. Yet despite its uncertainty, death doesn't have to be scary.

Yesterday I hugged a flower who has been fading for a long time. That's how it happened, too. First she experienced the withering of age, and then she began to fade. Now she is sleeping, waiting to awake in eternity. 

As I watched her yesterday, I thought of a quote from the Silmarillion:

"But Men die indeed, and leave the world; wherefore they are called the Guests, or the Strangers. Death is their fate, the gift of Ilúvatar, which as Time wears even the Powers shall envy." pg. 42

Because it's true: God gave us a merciful gift when He banished Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden and the tree of Life. How horrible would that be, to live to the end of time? To die and die and die without ever being free from death? In this sin-soaked world, death is a gift.

Soon Grandma will pass away from this world, only to bloom in glorious eternity, where her beauty will never wither. For us, it is hard. While I'm happy for her, it's never easy to say goodbye when you're not sure when you'll see each other again. But while there is sadness, there is hope-filled joy. Someday we will worship God together in perfection. And when that day comes, it will seem like the time we were apart was the blink of an eye. 

Because Eternal Spring is coming fast.

Are you ready for that, little flower?

Just remember this: when you lay me down to die, you lay me down to live!

I haven't written much lately. And considering the crazy month that June is promising to be, I probably won't have much to say for a while, besides my Costume Adventure updates, of course.

But I have a little thought, and it asked to be given the chance to be a blog post, so I told it I'd let it try. If it's able to assemble itself well enough, I'll let it stay. Otherwise, well, it'll just be another lonely draft that no one will ever read.

Lately I've been considering mortality more than I have in a long time. When I was a depressed teenager, I thought about it a lot, with little to no happiness. But the more I've grown up, and the closer I've grown to the Lord, the more I find that death isn't so very scary. But then, I haven't had to deal with it much during the past few years.

Not long ago, though, I started noticing mortality in places I've never seen it before. My grandfather, who has always been a picture of strength and vitality to me, had to have surgery on his shoulders. My dog, whom I've always called my puppy, is suddenly a smelly old dog. They're little, silly things, but they've had a ridiculously strong effect on me. Somehow these two small things began to let in a trickle of the fear that fuels most of my nightmares. "They're going to die someday. I'll die someday. There's no escaping that. Everyone is going to die someday. Everyone I love will die someday. They'll be dead, and I'll be alone. And there's nothing I can do about it."

But! Praise be to our compassionate God! He gave me the grace to run to Him with my fears, and gave me eyes to see reality.
This world is a miserable little sigh that will, thankfully, be over and done before we know it. Death is not the end of us, just (for the believer) the end of pain and sadness and confusion. It's the end of saying the wrong thing, thinking the wrong thing, and doing the wrong thing. It's leaving this fallen body and being with God! It's the highest example of God taking what is unnatural and bad, and turning it into a tool that brings ultimate joy and glory!

Don't misunderstand me, it comes at a high cost. I'm looking very, very forward to eternity, but NOT to dying. Knowing what lies on the other side helps, but doesn't take away most of the terror of crossing that river.

So God graciously gives peace, and for that I praise Him. But it's so very easy to get my mind off track!
Last night I stayed up late reading a book that I didn't enjoy very much. I tried very hard to care, but honestly I kept having to re-read bits of it because my mental narration kept saying "blah, blah, blah..." I'm serious!
At the very end, however, I choked up. And when I put down the book, I sobbed. Not because I cared about the characters, or because the writing was so powerful, or even because I couldn't believe I'd wasted precious hours of my life on it. I sobbed because in one scene the author said, "blond braid down her back," and I immediately saw my sister (who's blonde braid is very long). Before I could get the image to change to the actual character, Savannah was blown to bits before my eyes.
And then it hit me again, harder than it has in years: someday my sister will die, and I cannot stop it. And I sobbed for what was certain, and I cursed Adam and Eve and the Serpent, and I rejoiced in the day when all sorrow will be avenged. But that didn't help my despair.

This morning I was still sad, which is rarely good, and never on a work day. So I took it quickly to the Lord. He helped me to realize that part of my sorrow was due to immersing myself in the mindset of the book I'd been reading. There is no God in that world, and there certainly isn't any hope. There's nothing after death, and so you must cling to life with everything you have.

But that's the fiction world of the book, not reality! There is hope. Furthermore, all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose. He wouldn't let me nor any of His children die if it wasn't the best way to bring about the most gloriously wonderful result! Not everyone has died. The best thing for Elijah and Enoch was that they didn't. But most of us will. And that's okay, because God is trustworthy and good. The better I get to know Him, the more I'm certain of that fact. He is good, and He loves His children with a passion that no human will ever be able to understand - on this side of the river, at least.

Well, there you have it. I think my thought pulled itself together quite nicely in the short amount of time I gave it to do so, don't you? Well, maybe you don't. Either way, I hope that it has been a blessing to you.

Grace and Peace,
Sarah

Privileged

Oh my, I haven't posted in a while, have I? The team is safely home. Continue to pray for those they left behind in Mission, especially the boys with whom they had a lot of Bible study and discussion!

Update in my life: I'm not going to be able to go in May, but that's just fine. The fact that I'm totally cool with it is pretty amazing, and I encourage you to rejoice with me in the victory God has given me in this area. He is trustworthy and good!

But that's not the topic I'm going to explore in this post. I wanted to talk about a quote that has impacted me greatly, and I have too much to say for a status update, so I'm typing it out here. :)

The quote:

Mission is ultimately not a human response to human need. The Church's involvement in mission is its privileged participation in the actions of the triune God. -Tim Dearborn

I read this quote one evening while I was dragging my feet, dreading an upcoming moment of dying to my flesh. I thought, "Wow, that's good. Missions is a privilege! Deep." And then the Holy Spirit reminded me that every moment of my life is a mission; that God has called me to be His ambassador everywhere I go. Which meant that the act of selflessness that I was so dreading was more than sacrifice, more than obligation, it was a privilege!

God is sovereign, and has worked out all of history for the good of His people and the glory of His name. Every second of my life is a blessed chance to be a part of that master plan. God is working! The Creator and Sustainer of the world! But I get the opportunity to be the one He uses to accomplish His work! It's a privilege that not everyone gets.

And not just the suffering part! Yes, emptying myself like Christ is a privilege and a gift, but sometimes in life I don't have to sacrifice anything. Sometimes I can just sit down to dinner and enjoy an evening with my family. Am I any less on the mission field? No! In whatever I do, whether I eat or drink, I need to do it to the glory of God. I have the opportunity to serve Him still, and to join in privileged participation in the actions of the triune God even then.

This is amazing stuff. This is hard stuff. More than anything, this is encouraging stuff! A week ago I heard sermon after sermon on how Christ has given me victory over sin and the Enemy (I encourage you to listen to them!). Christ has won the victory and defeated sin and death, thus the end is certain. I WILL prevail. With that in mind, to be the tool God uses to accomplish His work is even more of a privilege. It's not the privilege of a knight who gets to go fight a dragon and maybe marry a princess. It's the privilege of the herald who is given the honor of running ahead to tell everyone that the King has been victorious. No matter what crosses our path, the battle is won. And He has chosen us to get to spread this glad news. It is a privilege!

So go. Like Christ, die to yourself for the joy set before you. Refrain from wasting your time on Tetris, and instead discipline yourself into becoming a Proverbs 31 woman! Maybe actually clean your room for once.
Wait... this is a public blog, not a private journal! I hope that the post has made sense, and been an encouragement to you.

May the love and peace of Christ be with you always!
Sarah

My name is Ruhama!

Now that I've finally updated you on what's going on in Mission, I'm going to take this time to be very selfish and write about myself. I enjoy talking about Russian literature, coffee, ice cream cones, and long walks on the beach...

Haha, just kidding! I'm not here to write a single's ad. If this post goes according to plan, I'm here to glorify God and ask for your prayers.

Let me start by warning you that my emotions have been extremely volatile during the last few days. I'm not sure whether it's just me, or maybe the 3 pounds of sugar I ate in 36 hours. Whatever it is, I'm afraid I've been something of a drama queen. If you're reading this and you've had to put up with my mood swings, I ask again for your forgiveness, and thank you for your grace. Especially if your last name is Weber.

More than anything, I've been discontent. And just when I told myself I'd found contentedness in Christ, I was proven very wrong. I learned yesterday that there is a very good chance that I will not be able to return to Mission next month, and the news crushed me. It tore off the mask, and revealed to me the festering disease I'd been trying to ignore. I looked at my heart attitude, and I found this:

"My whole life is one of waiting! I graduated in October of 2010, and it wasn't until this January that I had anything close to long-term direction. Until February, I was waiting for a job. Even now I'm waiting for clear direction on when and whether or not I should go to language school. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! And what's up with this wait for my husband??? I want to do something, but everything He gives me to do isn't at all exciting! It's mundane, insignificant, boring, and lonely. I don't like where He has me. I want to be where He's going to put me long-term, not this indecisive, trust-every-second-that-He-knows-what-He's-doing thing! And to make matters "worse", when I voice my complaints even a little, instead of sympathising, they point me to trusting God's sovereignty! I know that already! I don't want to have to trust Him, I just want Him to do what I want Him to do!"

That's been the condition of my heart of late. It's disgusting, isn't it? I step out of Easter, intoxicated with the joy and glory of Christ's sacrifice, only to jump into the mud and smear dung all over me. I was putting on such a good show of godliness, hiding my leprosy under priestly garments.  When God allowed me to see clearly what horrible attitudes I'd been gathering up, I was broken. I'm still so ashamed...

And then He led me to Hosea.
He's been doing that a lot lately, and wow, it's amazing! It's me! And it's Him!
It's us!

I've played the whore. I've run after my desires, and put my trust in the things that I wanted. I've told myself that I was in control. When I turned to God, it was oh, so briefly! And then I ran back to my gods.

AND YET!

HE IS FAITHFUL!
He loves me. With a love no human could manage!
Check it:

"I will not execute my burning anger;

I will not again destroy Ephraim;

for I am God and not a man,

the Holy One in your midst,

and I will not come in wrath."

Hosea 11:9 (emphasis added)

Practically the whole book of Hosea is about how completely unfaithful Israel has been to Him, and what horrible discipline they've earned; it's all about what a serious crime it is to cheat on Him. And then this!


Praise God, who has taken for himself a wretch like me to love unconditionally as His precious bride! Waiting is not at all hard if I'm resting in the embrace of my Beloved! Praise be to Him, for bringing me to this place of rest!

So there, you now have a clearer picture of the monster that is Sarah Weber apart from Christ. But, hopefully and more importantly, you have a clearer understanding of what a glorious God we serve!

So please pray for me.
Pray that I would grow to be more like Christ and less like Sarah.
And also, please pray that things would work out at work so that I'll be able to go back to Mission in May! God has brought me to a place where if I'm unable to go, that's fine. A bummer, but something to be rejoiced in because it is His work. But until I know for certain that the answer is no, I'm going to pray otherwise. :)

May the Love and Peace of Christ be with you always!
Sarah

"Say to your brothers, 'You are my people,' and to your sisters, 'You have received mercy.'[Ruhama]"
Hosea 2:1 (read it in the context of chapter 1 - it's glorious!)

Bumbles Bounce! Right?

Wow.

I don't even know what to say about today. I think VBS should be renamed VHS - Very Humbling School (although people who still watch movies on cassette may not appreciate that much). Goodbye, silly notions of yore that thought I could actually handle a craft class. Good grief!

I'm not complaining, just stating the facts: this evening was utter chaos. Comfortingly, it was utter chaos in EVERY area, not just crafts. We're not really sure if anything we said got across to any of the kids.

AND YET!

Our God is sovereign! He is good! Every second of our lives is working together for His glory and our good! This insane evening is the most perfect thing that could've possibly happened. I truly believe that. And somehow, I can rejoice in it. How great is our God!

However, we do need to change some things, and no change seems up to the daunting task it faces. Pray for us!!!

Merciful God, oh abounding in Love! Faithful to all who draw near You!

Dude.

So you know how God has recently been showing me that I need to pray more confidently and trust Him completely? Well, guess what!

Shortly after posting "Confidence is Keen" (which desperately needs a better name, btw), my friend and brother in Christ received a preliminary diagnosis of Hodgkin's Lymphoma, a cancer of the lymphatic system. This is a particularly terrifying diagnosis to me. Your lymphatic system spreads all over your body, so when the cancer is there it soon spreads everywhere. I know this, because that's the cancer that killed my biological father.

My friend did some research and said that this type of cancer has a very high survival rate. My brain wouldn't accept this, but of course I didn't tell him that. Instead I prayed. I prayed and prayed and prayed. Several times I was tempted to pray my doubting prayers of before, but God gave me some remarkable confidence. I knew of course that He was completely in control, but that didn't change my earnest pleading that the cancer be taken care of quickly. When I learned that it was, in fact, a preliminary diagnosis and not set in stone, I prayed that there was no cancer. That the doctor was mistaken. More than anything, I prayed that salvation would come to my friend's family through this. I know firsthand that God makes all things good, and uses the darkest moments to create the most beautiful results.

Guess what my friend learned yesterday.

No cancer! None! How gracious, how glorious, how merciful our God is! I've been thanking Him off and on all morning and evening. I'm so thankful to the Lord for sparing him that trial, and so blessed to have been able to pray for him. If you want to read his full story, you can find it here.

What a beautiful, caring God we serve! Rejoice in Him today, my friends. He is always good, always! But sometimes, like now, His goodness is readily and abundantly apparent. Praise Him for His goodness.

Peace,

Sarah

Confidence is Keen

Wow today was a wonderful day! It was our annual Church Picnic, and was such a blessed time! It amazes me how much I've grown up even in the last year. Today was full of conversation and fun like my introverted self of yesteryear wouldn't believe!

One of those conversations focused on prayer. I asked some friends if they ever struggled with weakened prayers because of their understanding of the sovereignty of God. I find all over Scripture that we are supposed to pray confidently, assured that God will answer our requests, but very often I found myself leaving God a loophole, so to speak. Instead of praying, "God, please heal this person," my prayers often were more like, "God, please heal this person if You want to. Because, ultimately, Your will is going to be done, and You know best. So really please just do whatever you want. Personally, I would really like it if you healed them." I may not have said those words, but that was the feeling and the understanding that I spoke with.

Ultimately, I didn't want to open my heart up to be broken just because God had a better plan. I understood very well that God's plan IS perfect, and whatever He decides to do is so much better than what I've asked, even if it is painful at the moment. But the more passionately you pray for something, the more you are opening up yourself to some serious pain. I know this from experience, but I didn't share that experience with my friends today, because I wanted to stay on topic. But I think I'll share it with you. Maybe writing sappy stuff will get my blog noticed in the world (HAHA!).

It's funny how weird things from your childhood impact you, even if you don't realize it. For example, until last year I hated going into Subway, because that's where my mom, aunt, grandma, stepmom and I met before we picked out the flowers for my daddy's funeral. And I honestly think that, along with the heat and the noise, 4th of July is my least favorite holiday because of what I'm about to share.

I was only six when my biological father passed away (until this year I did my math wrong and thought I was seven). I wasn't really very aware of my daddy's illness until the very end. One Independence Day (or at least I think it was - there were fireworks going off somewhere for some reason) a great group of people got together and laid their hands on my daddy and prayed for him. They prayed and they wept and they prayed some more. The fervency of their prayers scared me, but they prayed so confidently. They were asking God to heal my father, and expecting Him to do so. I think that night may have been the only time before he died that I felt there was a great sadness coming into my life. But I was so young, and a new Christian. I prayed so hard that night. I remember it was humid. I poured out my heart, and then rested easy. God wouldn't let anything bad happen to my daddy.

I'm not sure what day or what year that prayer meeting took place, but I do know that my daddy passed away on July 28th. And it shook me.

I didn't blame God for taking the coolest guy I knew. I certainly didn't understand His sovereignty, but I did firmly believe that God was good. Over time I have realized that everything, EVERYTHING happens for His glory and our good. My life would not be what it is today if my dad had not died. I would not know God like I do today if he had been healed from his cancer.

But at the same time, I let some things latch onto me in that time. Things that I didn't realize could be a problem. Like I've already mentioned, Subway made me sick. Thankfully I've overcome that. I developed a slightly superstitious dread of the laying on of hands while praying. The first year I went to Mexico our group was at the front of the church and our church came to lay hands on us and pray for us before we left. The whole time I was scared to death that I was going to die - and I was 14 (I think)! Last year God set me free from that fear (may His Name be praised!).

But another leech that I wasn't aware of until this afternoon was that, while I certainly trusted God with my life and everything minor in it, I didn't really trust Him with my prayers. This has actually manifested itself in many ways, and I never noticed before. It was fine with me if God ruled the world and everything in it, including my life and the lives of my loved ones. But I didn't want to pray, because that makes hard times harder, or so I thought. Did I really think that if I asked the Lover of my soul for something dangerous (salvation, healing, radical provision) He would intentionally crush me? I did. Oh, God forgive me, I did! How could such a monster have hidden in me for so long? And what a fool I am if I ever think no monsters like it could be left.

And so, through my friends, and recruited wisdom from some of the wise men in our church, God revealed to me that I really just need to trust Him (doesn't it seem to always come back to that?). Yes, I should pray confidently and boldly! Yes, I know that God is sovereign, but that should not affect the fervency of my prayers. If I remember that all things are ultimately in His hands, rather than taking that as a reason for me to pray in a wishy-washy manner, I should cling to it as a confidence that no matter what God's answer, He WILL give me the strength to live through it, and it WILL work out for His glory and my good!

What a beautiful God, what a beautiful God, what a beautiful God we serve!

The funny thing is, I hadn't even thought about this topic in months, and it just jumped out of my mouth before I realized what I was asking. Hmmm. Coincidence? HA!

He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?

Romans 8:32

Peace.

Sarah

[I would just like to mention that because I was very young, my memories of that prayer time may not be entirely accurate. I've never spoken to anyone about it, at least, not since it was a recent occurrence, so I don't have any verification. But it did make a huge impact on my life, and I did faithfully record what I remember. If my memory is a traitor, please forgive me.]

Now and Forever

I just found my List of Things I'd Like to Do Before I Die. I think I wrote this in 2008. That seems like it was much longer ago than it actually was...

1. TP a house [√]

2. Learn to play a bizarre instrument [√] (if you count ocarina)

3. Publish a book [ ]

4. Learn to dance [ ] (I can dance if I have an extremely talented, patient partner...)

5. Learn Russian [ ] (As of yet, nyet)

6. Go to Scotland [ ]

7. Ride to California [ ] (And because I no longer have a motorcycle, I'm not sure if this one will ever happen)

It's amazing how many things have happened in my life that have something to do with this list. I taught myself to play the ocarina long after I'd lost this list (and then I promptly stopped practicing and forgot most of what I'd learned).

I decided during college that writing really isn't what I want to do, and yet lately my thoughts have been turning that direction more and more.

I went English Country Dancing with some friends, and absolutely loved it! I waltzed and discussed English literature with a complete stranger. If you would have told me that was going to happen when I wrote this list, I would've thought you were crazy.

I now have access to Rosetta Stone's Russian program, and have gone through a few of the lessons. As with the ocarina, I have a hard time being disciplined enough to teach myself anything.

My interest in Scotland has, frankly, waned. Although I still love Scottish accents.

And my desire to return to California (especially on a motorcycle) has increased dramatically.

This moment of reflection has made me all the more thankful for my Sovereign Lord. Around the time I graduated, my lifetime achievement list began with TP-ing a house. Seriously? I was wanting to get married when I wrote this list. Granted, most of the list is pretty normal, and I would still really like to do them, but I marvel at what a different person I have become. Maybe it's not obvious to those around me, but life is a much more serious, beautiful thing now. Part of it is maturity, and all of it is God's grace.

I didn't know that my view of life would change so dramatically in just a few years when I wrote this list. But God did. He's orchestrated it all, every second! He knew what I would like and dislike at this time. He knew what would change, and what would stay the same. He has used every person, every moment, every atom to continually build my life toward its great purpose: His glory. God is the most eco-friendly Being that has ever existed, because He doesn't waste ANYTHING! Not even a millisecond can slip by that He has not used to its fullest potential. No success, no failure, no mountain, no eyelash, no drop of water, no speck of dust floating in space, no bit of calcium clinging to a stalactite in an undiscovered cave, no ant exoskeleton, no snap of static electricity, no tree falling in a forest where no one can hear it, no oil leak, no birth, no death, no injury, no sickness, no medical advancement, no medical blunder, no argument, no affection, no kernel of corn grown by Monsanto, NOTHING has existed, happened, or been felt that has not been exactly the right thing to create some sort of huge, intricate, most God-glorifying piece of art possible. My brain aches trying to imagine it! And one day, when this world has ended and we can step back and see this great masterpiece the way it is best seen... oh how will we not explode into a thousand God-praising pieces? I get teary-eyed just thinking about it.

Imagine, just try to imagine a goodness so great that it has taken the worst corruption our sin has created-cancer, aids, pornography, etc.-and turned it into something beautiful and pure! Praise to our incomprehensibly glorious God!

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." Romans 8:18 (emphasis added)

I may not know the way I go, but oh! I trust my Guide!

Well, I really thought that when I posted again 'twould be with something cheery, but that doesn't seem to be the case. We'll see, I suppose.

'Twas the night before Wycliffe, and deep in the house,
Sarah was shaking like a timid little mouse.

This moment is so very much different than I expected it to be. Back in February, when I signed up for TOTAL, all I wanted was direction and a husband. Actually, I would've just taken the husband. When the Lord promised me that June would hold some answers, I was ecstatic! All of my worries were blown away with one word: June! Not sure if I should invest in a car? Oh Lord, hasten June! Not sure if I should get a job? Oh Lord, hasten June! Struggling to keep my heart captive? Oh Lord, PLEASE hasten June!

At some point in the Spring, I think I really did have this idea that on June first Dad was going to say, "Sarah, I just had a very interesting conversation with [insert name of some godly young man that I'd probably meet before June here]..." And maybe, just maybe, that [scottish?] young man [who lived in California?] would want to translate Bibles! Yeah! In June, everything I wanted would come to be. With fireworks and a parade.

Instead, I find myself five days into June (which is miserably hot and full of cicadas) scared to death. And single. And fat due to gluttony. But amazing things have happened in the past four months.
One of the most amazing of which (I believe) is that I am content to be single! I noticed it the other day, and I'm honestly afraid to think about it much at all. I'm afraid I'll wake up from this blissful dream. I'm not struggling to keep my heart captive, and I don't feel lonely! I'm content, and I pray that I will stay that way until I meet my husband. To see this growth is, to me, worth ten times the wait.

Another is that I'm not really worried about the future. I'm afraid of what I may encounter in that future, but I'm not worried about how I will get there. Whatever I find-pain, sadness, comfort, joy-will all be part of one great story. I trust the Author, so why worry? "His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me."

I am such a fool, though. Seriously, I'm afraid that I'm going to mess up God's sovereign plan. My head knows that that is impossible, but I still feel afraid. What if I think God's not calling me to Wycliffe only because I chicken out? What if I go that route only because I don't know of anything else to do, but that's not what God has planned for my life and it all ends in tears and misery?

These are the thoughts of a fool, and it's a fool who lets them into her brain. Typing them out has helped me, however. Tell me, Timid Heart, do you honestly believe that your God, who has brought you through so much (though it is so little), would leave you stranded? That He would ignore all of the pleas you, your parents, and your brothers and sisters in Christ have been offering? Prayers begging for clarity and direction? You honestly think that the God who loved you enough to die for you would now leave the life He purchased with His blood floundering in some sort of cruel mirror-maze of doubt? Fie upon thee!

And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. And they went and woke him, saying, "Save us, Lord; we are perishing." And he said to them, "Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?" Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. And the men marveled, saying, "What sort of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him?"
Matthew 8:23-27 ESV

When I began this post, my heart was heavy with doubt and pre-departure homesickness. But if my God is with me, whom then shall I fear? Bring on the storm! It will only serve to give me a clearer understanding of my Lord!

"I may not know the way I go, but oh! I know my Guide!
His love can never fail!
His love can never fail!
My soul is satisfied to know His love can never fail!"

That being said, you will pray for me this week, yeah? ;)

Ours is not to complain.

It's been a rough couple of days.

Tuesday evening I started feeling sick.
Wednesday morning I woke up with a full-blown cold.
When I walked outside to enjoy the morning, I found a dead momma bird in my garden.
I then began to develop a strange rash, which I'm guessing is poison ivy (I've never had it before, so this is an unpleasant new experience).
I learned that my friends' dad has cancer.
Today I woke up feeling a little better! ^_^
But then I felt terrible again.
It's raining, and we are supposed to go camping.
There's a strong possibility that my wii is dead.
C-group is cancelled because our leader is suffering extreme mouth pain.
et cetera

But you know what? God is good. He is so good that even when I feel like getting in bed and staying hidden under the covers for the rest of my life, I am comforted by Him. Everything is in His hands. NOTHING catches Him by surprise. As I told the little kids in Sunday School last week, "God is Never-Tiring, and He sustains us." What need have I to complain? He is not unaware of my inconveniences - He planned them for my good and His glory. I will glory in my Redeemer, and rest in His faithfulness. Praise be to our Eternal Sustainer! ¡El Señor es siempre bueno!

[Note: My wii is NOT dead, and after some spicy egg drop soup, I think I'm on the mend! I am so blessed!]

And so what we have learned applies to our lives today... Part 2

Previously on Droll Digression:
God has allowed me to unwind, and taught me to trust Him with my future and see the smaller picture.

Once I was able to grasp the concept of viewing every day as my full-time ministry, life was a little easier to take. On a good day, I would wake up, have my quiet time, and look around for ways to serve. On a bad day, I was either incredibly lazy (big shocker there!) or right back to my worrying self. Things were looking up, but I was still praying for a more long-term direction with my life. Having peace wasn't the same as having an answer for those who wanted to know what I was going to do with my degree. There was always someone asking, and every conversation along those lines left me frustrated with my lack of direction. I still felt stranded in darkness, but I was no longer afraid, because I knew that I wasn't lost, but right where I was supposed to be.

Around this time God began to show me that this has often been the way He does things. For example, in Sunday School we are going through the Gospel of John. One Sunday my teacher noted that John the Baptist was led out to the desert, and spent some time there before his ministry began. It was so comforting to me to know that I wasn't the only one who felt they'd been taken out to a desolate place before their life's purpose came to fruition. What was John doing in the wilderness before he began to preach? I can only assume that he was drawing near to God.

That Sunday it became clear to me that even though I don't know what my future holds-I don't know if I'll ever get married, I don't know if I'll ever have a great job, or if I'll ever have enough money to buy a motorcycle or restore an old volkswagen beetle or bus-I do know that I have a great God, and that I could never cease to know Him and His Word better. I also realized that, rather than sit around waiting to be told what to do with my life, I should be preparing for whatever it is that God would have me do. If He called me to the mission field, would I be in-shape enough to work for Him? If He calls me to teach His Word, do I know it well enough to teach it? If He calls me to be a wife and mother, am I disciplined enough to care for a household and support my husband and children? Even if the answer was "maybe," it was obvious to me that I needed much improvement in all of these areas. This improvement became my day-to-day mission.

As I slowly grew closer to the Lord in these ways (and oh, oh! how far I have to go!) He began to answer some of my prayers. When I was willing to set long-term goals aside, He gave me a few. First, He allowed me to remember that I would have the free time to serve at Camp this year - something I very much wanted to do last year, but couldn't get the time off for.
Second, He allowed me to remember Wycliffe.

Back when I was still swamped with schoolwork, a missionary and good friend of our pastor's family visited my church while on furlough. She works for Wycliffe Bible Translators as a teacher to the children of missionaries in Africa. At the time, I was considering working to become an English teacher, so I was very interested in what she had to say. The next day I got online, and while I was looking for information regarding teaching, I discovered something called T.O.T.A.L - a Taste of Translation and Linguistics. It was a week-long workshop-type-thing in which you could see if Bible translation was something you could do, or you were interested in. It sounded amazing, but the only one near enough for me to attend happened to fall on my finals week.

For months I had completely forgotten that TOTAL existed, or that I had ever considered working with Wycliffe. Then, one evening, I was talking to Mom about the future. I don't remember all that was said, except that I mentioned the missionary who had visited earlier. As soon as I said her name, I remembered TOTAL. The next day I excitedly looked into it and signed up. During the first week of June, I'll be TOTAL-ing it up! It's been wonderful waiting for it. Whenever I am tempted to grow discontent, the Lord reminds me that He gave me a plan through June, and that He is faithful to take care of me after that, too. I don't know what to expect when I go. It could be that the Lord calls me to Bible translation, or it could be that He calls me to work in another area with Wycliffe, or it could be that He uses this to show me that He isn't calling me to such missions. I'm open to anything, and I'm praying that I stay that way.

God is good, my friends. Even when the future looks very bleak, we can trust Him! Even when all of the wisdom being given to us doesn't seem to mesh with our lives, He can make sense of it! He is marvelous! Who is like Him?

I want to end with a bit of realism. While God has been showing me so many things, I have not been receiving them perfectly. In fact, far from it! The more He blesses me, the harder it is to fight laziness. Some days I don't even struggle, I just give in whole-heartedly. I hate it. I hate the sluggishness that clings to my eyes when it's time to wake up, I hate feeling so lethargic when I need to work. I am so LAZY! If you don't believe me, you should see my bedroom. But I do hate it, and I am fighting it. God is faithful. By His strength, I will win this battle.

He is worthy of all praise! Worship the Good Shepherd, my fellow sheep! Bow before Him, for He is faithful!

And so what we have learned applies to our lives today... Part 1

Hey look! I have a blog!
I'm sorry that I haven't written here much lately, but the fact is that I just don't write much of anything these days. Part of me would like to blog weekly or something, but then I'll have to find something to blog about. We'll see.

For now, I suppose I'll give an update on my life situation.
It's been about seven months since I graduated with my BA in English. Since then I've had one job taking care of an elderly lady who went to my church. That job ended in December, when her need of earthly assistance had ended, and left me in the dark. I had no idea of what I should do with my life - nor what I wanted to do for that matter. I felt lost and frozen. Everyone kept asking me what I was going to do with my life, and I was terrified in my lack of direction. Looking back, I see that it was very good for me. In the roughest bit, God began to teach me many, many things - things that I knew in my head, but had never accepted in my heart.

First, He used this time to help me unwind. I didn't know how stressed I was during college until about two months without a deadline. I'm able to enjoy things again, whereas if I had enjoyed anything before, it was with a streak of guilt that marred the beauty of the moment. To enjoy something then almost certainly meant that I was neglecting an academic duty.

Second, He has taught me trust. There is no terror like the unknown. Any good suspense or horror writer knows that people are most afraid when there are unanswered questions. My future was one big unanswered question, and it paralyzed me with fear. Before I could take a single step in any direction, I had to learn to trust God's sovereignty. It's like they say, "I may not know what tomorrow holds, but I know Who holds tomorrow." It wasn't that I stood pointing my finger at the sky and crying, "You don't know what you're doing! You have no control over my life!" Rather, my thought process was that if God has a plan, and I can't figure out what it is, something is wrong with the way things are being handled. Before I could begin to deal with the future, I had to be able to consciously trust God with every moment.

That led to the third thing that God has been doing in my life: He has been teaching me to see the smaller picture. The questions I was asking were good questions - things like, Should I go back to school? Should I volunteer full time? And if so, where? And if I did volunteer, wouldn't that mean I'd have to get a job so that I could pay for a car? What kind of job? - but as time went on God began to show me that while my questions were good, they were too big. I viewed my time in months and years, but when Jesus said not to worry about tomorrow (Mt. 6:34), He wasn't kidding. Each day is all that I'm promised. Each day is my future. My mother has often reminded me in this time that God's Word is a lamp unto my feet. When you're using a flashlight to walk in the dark, you can only see a few feet ahead of you, and that's all you need. That is so easy to hear and agree with, but so hard to apply, and doubly so when you're not even sure if you can see the light at your feet! But God has been teaching me that my feet are standing in one day: today. Until God says otherwise, each morning I am to seek His will for that day. Not the day after, or the week after, or the year after, but that very day, that very morning, that very hour. I am to do at that moment whatever would glorify Him most. Sure, it never gave me an answer for the "what are your plans for life?" question, but when I was finally able to grasp this concept, it brought me so much peace!

Well, the hour grows late, and morning comes swiftly. I will end here and try to pick up where I left off tomorrow. Things get pretty exciting after this point, so I'll try to finish soon. :)
May God bless you, and keep you, and cause His face to shine on you! He is good! Whatever happens, He is good!

On Tests, Temper Tantrums, Grace, & An Abundance of Postscripts

I need to go to bed. Here it is 11 pm, I have a test in the morning, I haven't really finished studying, and I'm sitting here staring at the computer screen. I always get like this the night before a test. Usually I have Mom to wait up for, but she won't be home until perhaps when I leave in the morning. She changed her shift and schedule and such, which is great news for the part of me that wants to see more of her, but pretty sad for the night-owl in me. No more excuses. That's tart. Ah well, I'll be halfway to Pphbbfft next month. I suppose I can stay up late and face the consequences. But that doesn't change the fact that tonight I need to sleep.

I don't really want to sleep, though, because I haven't taken the practice test that I'm supposed to take the day before the test. I really don't want to sleep because I haven't even finished reading all of the material. As I've said a million times (though perhaps not on here) I am a VERY bad student. The sad thing is that I have a good chance of passing. I'm not really overly worried. Prayers would be appreciated, though. The only way I'll ever pass is if God wants me to pass.

Did I mention that I'm over Facebook? I can't remember if I have or not. Well, I am. I mean, I'd still love to be on there, but it's no longer depressing me or making me break out in a cold sweat when I think about it. ;) I had my priorities so incredibly messed up. Very often I wonder why God sticks with me.

On that note, a simple, yet profound thought came to me the other evening. 

To give you a little bit of a background, the past month has been pretty rough emotionally, but God sustained me in that marvelous way He always does, may His Name be glorified. However, at the end of the chaos that erupted sometime last month I felt very drained spiritually. It was at that low point that I decided to throw a temper tantrum. I wanted to do what I wanted to do, and God said to wait. This I found very unfair. If I wasn't His child, I wouldn't have to wait. I could do whatever I want. How come everyone else always got their way when I had to wait on His timing? It just wasn't fair... - painfully pathetic, I know.

So, like I said, I threw a fit. My close relationship with God went downhill at a dizzying rate, and for a week or two I was absolutely miserable. I knew that the only way to get that relationship back was to repent, but I just couldn't humble myself that much. And so it dragged on for another week. I was so God-hungry that if someone even mentioned Him, or read a verse from the Bible I wanted to cry. I finally grew desperate enough to ask forgiveness, but I was too ashamed to do it where anyone could hear me, and for a few days it seemed as though I couldn't go anywhere without someone being nearby, so again my pride was in the way. Then a few Sundays ago I could take no more. I didn't care if the whole church knew how terrible I was, I had to get right with Him. 

He is so gracious and forgiving. You know what? I wasn't asked a single question! Not a one! All of that stupid fear of looking like what I am, and God hid it from all eyes. Isn't He amazing?! I didn't deserve to be taken back into His never-ending love, much less to have the whole deal kept secret, but He did that for me!

As I contemplated that fact, it crossed my mind that had God known what He was getting in to, He would have been wise to leave me to myself. Then I heard Him say: "I did know."

Wow! He knew every single instance where I would stumble, fall, think of stumbling, outright run away... everything! And yet He DIED for me! Hallelujah!

Hmm... now I want to dance, not sleep! And yet I feel that I can sleep ever so much more peacefully. There's nothing like talking about the one you love to put you at blissful ease. I hope you all have a fantabulous day! May God bless you richly!

~Sarah

P.S. I mentioned that I was writing the script for a movie a few posts ago. I wanted to let you know that it's nearly finished, all of the filming is done. I've proven that I am a better writer/directress than actress, but it's been fun. I'll post it just as soon as I've completed it.

P.P.S. I know I need to stop stalling and go to bed, but I just had to at an additional postscript. It's such fun.

P.P.P.S.  I don't think these exist, but it's fun to pretend they do. I wanted to explain my use of "Pphbbfft" as an age. I do not want to have another birthday. Seriously. I do not want to turn the age of the next number on the list. I don't like it. And so both because I'm in denial and because my family is insane and wonderful, I refer to my next age as being "pphbbfft" (meant to be read as that sound that is made when you blow air through your lips which are pressed lightly together).

P.P.P.P.S.  Sorry this has ended up such a long post...

Into the West

Yeah, so... I haven't posted anything in a while. I need to be studying, but I just can't seem to concentrate on more US History. But don't worry, I'll get caught up.

Right now I'm sitting at my grandma's computer and listening to my uncle play his guitar. He's actually very good. I like music.

When I went to the symphony and heard the Lord of the Rings Symphony two weekends ago, I had a bunch of thoughts that I wanted to blog, but I didn't get the chance, and they were lost in the chaos of life. I'll try to bring them back to the surface of my mind, but I have to apologize. They won't be nearly as grand or profound as they were that night.

Alright, so first of all, I think that music is the soul's language. I know most of you are thinking "Whoa, Sarah, how original - not," but bear with me. I think I've probably heard people say stuff like that a million times, but it really hit me while I was sitting there listening to that beautiful music. There were times during the symphony that I didn't have a thought about Middle Earth. As I sat there, often with my eyes closed (despite a beautiful slideshow by one of my favourite artists), I was first struck with the beauty of many people playing their part in harmony. Then, I got that feeling.

You know the feeling, I'm almost sure. I've probably talked about it before. That horrible, wonderful feeling that you get when Fall's change is in the wind, or after a party. That feeling that everything is so good, but there is something WONDERFUL that you don't have. You want something, but you don't know what. You're maybe even afraid of something, though you have no idea why or what it is you're afraid of. Change? Who knows. I used to hate that feeling.

But now I love it. It makes me indescribably happy, because I know what that wonderful thing is that I want: God. But more than that, I know that someday I'll get there. I'll see Him! So then this feeling is like a preview, showing me just enough to make me want it.

Anyway, I got that feeling. I listened to that music and my soul screamed "Yes! THIS is what I understand!" For the most part there were no words (or at least none in English) until the end credits songs. But my soul understood. Those beautiful notes said more about the beauty of God than any words could have.

And then, at the very end, she sang Into the West. Oh I love that song. I've often thought that it is so close to a Christian song, and after the worship service of the music before, I felt so even more. It so perfectly describes my view of death. It made me cry a little - well not cry cry, just wipe a few tears. Everyone else probably thought it was because I'm a LOTR fanatic (which 1. They probably weren't even looking at me & 2. I'm not anymore).

Well, that was my experience. I guess I pretty much rambled and did a terrible job of capturing the beauty that I felt. Sorry. If it ever comes again, I would strongly recommend going.

Have a glorious day.

Looking & Sounding Like a Jesus Freak

Well, I'm not sure where this will end up, but I've got half an hour to kill and little that I can do in a dark room with a sleeping sister, so I figured I might as well get some thoughts out of me that have been simmering for a while. Hopefully they're not too goopy and sticky to make any sense (or to scrape out of my mind). First I want to mention shining in a way that shows how glorious Christ really is. Tonight I was talking with an individual about a specific food that this person enjoys immensely. I personally don't care for this food very much, and he was trying to describe to me what I was missing out on. As I watched his eyes light up and a smile spread across his face, there was no doubt in my mind that he really did like that food. Then it hit me: how do people know that I "really like" Christ? I say "really like" with quotation marks, because obviously I feel much more strongly about my Saviour than this man did about his favourite snack; but it helps my point. Looking at me, would the world think I really like Christ, or would the world look on and see a glow in my eye that says "He is wonderful! You must go to Him! You must know what it is like!"? I can only hope I shine like that. Yes, I know that these little paragraphs didn't tell you how to shine, or even if I do shine, or what I intend to do to shine better. That's not really its purpose. On a selfish level, I wrote them to help me, on a sharing level, I wrote them to make you think. Misery loves company, you know? Moving right along, I'll scrape out more sticky goop, this time focusing on conversations. I really don't want to bring up this subject, because I have major pride issues and this is gonna hurt me. What should a Jesus Freak's conversation sound like? Well, considering that I'm using the term Jesus Freak, you would assume that it would be freakishly full of Jesus. And if Christ is really so wonderful as I believe, that would make perfect sense. Since Christ is in me and I have given myself body and soul to Him, every aspect of my life is affected by Him. So if I'm talking about any part of my life, Christ should come up, right? I don't know what your answer is, but I would agree with myself (big shocker there). Well any of you that have talked to me (and since probably all of you are my friends on facebook, you've all had some sort of conversation with me at one time or the other) know that this is not the case in my life. Sure, sometimes I'll squeak something out, but for the most part my speech barely acknowledges my Lord's existence. And this fills me with such shame. So this has to change. I don't care how long it takes, I've got to start redeeming my conversations. So to begin this process, I figured that I need to lay out why I don't glorify God in the way I talk. 1. I don't think to. This is probably the saddest thing I'll be listing, because after realizing that I just don't think to say anything, I realized that it's because I just don't think of Him. Why? Because I'm not as close to Him as I should be. I mean, if I had my husband standing beside me in every conversation, wouldn't it be extremely rude to completely ignore him every time? Oh God, forgive me. 2. It seems awkward. Ok, so you're sitting there talking about video games with your friends. I'll be nice, and say that something actually popped into your head that makes a little sense, say, um, the disastrous result of a character in the game insisting on his own way. It blares at you as a little lesson to stop fighting for your own way and give in to the Lord's plan. So the question is, how do you bring this up in a group of friends that would probably consider your observation completely random and weird? Well if you're like me, you don't. So two little observations here: a) you don't really know what their reaction would be. b) who really cares if they do think you're weird? We're not called to be normal. We're called to be radically different. In fact, if the most radical you ever get is talking about a pathetic little metaphor from a video game, you're probably not radical enough. Sorry, that was a note to myself. 3. I'm in the "wrong" group. Well, here are the painful facts, Sarah. There is no "wrong" group. I don't care if the person is saved, is living in sin but saying they're saved, or if they're outright atheists. If there is one wrong group, they're all wrong groups. You need to get your thinking straight. Stop hiding behind your pathetic excuses. Well, I guess that's about all I have for that subject. If you're ever talking to me, feel free to remind me of what I just wrote. I want to show the world His greatness, and I can't do that if I'm only talking about chocolate chip cookies. I don't have much time left. Well, I suppose I have all the time in the world, but not if I want to wake up tomorrow without ice-cold water poured on me (I'm just kidding. My family hasn't ever done that - yet). At any rate, I need to wrap this up. I don't know if this has been beneficial to you at all, and honestly, I'm not certain it will help me. Like I said in the beginning, these are just some thoughts I've been thinking. I hope you enjoyed them, and that it wasn't a waste of your time to sit there staring at your computer reading them. May God glorify Himself through you. ~Sarah

Just can't hold it in...

I'm sorry that this is so choppy and broken up. I was just about to go to bed when I just had to tell someone... anyway, I wanted to share it with even more people, so I copied what I was typing in my IM and posted it here for you to read:

I've felt kinda distant from God for awhile, like I'm just cruising through life barely supported by Him. I knew it wasn't right, but didn't have the guts to just stay in one place praying until I was right with Him

Today I've been a little scared, because I'm taking these girls to camp to learn about Christ, to give them an opportunity to get away from 'normal' life and focus solely on our Awesome Father

...but how on earth could I show them how worthy He is of our unwavering adoration if I myself didn't feel it?

And so I said the simplest prayer ever

I just said, God, please bring me close to You so that I can show them Your glory

...and he heard me Tacia!

He was always listening

even when I felt miles away, He was right there beside me

so now I feel a little scared, because I can 'see' Him again, and He's glorious, and Powerful, All-knowing, and so... holy

so high above my highest

like we're not even in the same universe

and if I was to draw near to Him i would burn up in an instant

man, I'm just gonna have to blog this

anyway, I'm also so encouraged!

I mean, after seeing how unworthy I am, I've seen how worthy He is

and yet He's taken mercy on me a Sinner with a capital 'S'

WOW!

I don't know whether to cry or shout

But I'm going to have to go to bed

I just have to tell you one more time how GREAT our God is

not just our God... THE God

The Only God. The One True God

If only I can get that One point across to these girls this week, my whole life will have had a purpose.

If one more person could see what it is that makes me ridiculously happy for no apparent reason...

If one more person could see why... I dunno... why I'm happy!

I know I keep going back to that, but I am SO happy! 

And trust me, I haven't had anything, haven't done anything out of the ordinary except one whispered prayer

And I didn't even 'feel' anything then. 

Mr. Schembre said it best one Wednesday - "We live by faith, not feel." or something very, very similar.

I just wish I could always feel like this.

Praise God for being God! Praise Him for the air we breathe! Praise Him for the ability to read this, to type this! Praise Him for the mercy He shows us in not wiping us out and starting over with a perfect creation! Oh how great God is!!! 

"Let the godly exult in glory;

"let them sing for joy on their beds." -Psalm 149:5 ESV

Good night. 

Bible Study Jem

23 Thus says the LORD: "Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might let not the rich man boast in his riches, 24 but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the LORD."

Jeremiah 9:23,24 ESV

I Hope these verses bless you as much as they did me! With a God so great, why would we need to boast in anything else?! How sad that we are so blinded by the glitter of man's praise that we can't see what really matters, what our entire lives should focus on - The greatness of our loving, just and righteous God!

Just wanted to share...

This morning in my quiet time I read the first chapter of Jeremiah. I was really blessed by this chapter, and I wanted to share a few verses with you.

"Do not say, 'I am only a youth';

for to all to whom I send you, you shall go,

and whatever I command you, you shall speak.

Do not be afraid of them,

for I am with you to deliver you,

declares the LORD."

(verse 5)

"18 And I, behold, I make you this day a fortified city, an iron pillar, and bronze walls, against the whole land, against the kings of Judah, its officials, its priests, and the people of the land. 19 They will fight against you, but they shall not prevail against you, for I am with you, declares the LORD, to deliver you."

Wow! Isn't that awesome?!  Praise God!

All scripture comes from the ESV

A little update on my life

Well, I left everyone with a pretty boring post, so I guess I'll give a little update.

The wedding rehearsal went well. I learned my easy part and everything. Bridesmaids really do have it easy. They just walk up and stand there through the whole wedding. 

The wedding itself went well, too. Sheila looked beautiful. It was very emotional in the changing room. Everyone was crying and trying to keep the bride from crying. I kept thinking about when we were little and we used to dress up as brides. If that won't get you teary-eyed I don't know what will.

Anyway, the reception was pretty wild. We left really early. I won't go into any details. 

So everything is absolutely crazy. Please pray for me. At least the dog is behaving.

And the sun hasn't shown in days. It's never gotten to me before, but it's getting to me now. Praise God that he is greater than sunlight. Greater than recreation, greater than the world's view of a good time and so much greater than I. 

I know that no matter what happens God is in control. He already knows what's going to happen. He's got it all figured out. All I have to do is go with His flow. Whether it means I die tomorrow, or I meet the man of my dreams tomorrow, that my house burns down or it snows on Christmas. His grace is sufficient. Wow.

My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do!!!