But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility... Eph. 2:13-14

Wednesday, February 25

Choose Wisely

Just a few moments ago, I decided to do something I never do and listen to music while I study. I actually don't usually listen to music unless I can enjoy it or I'm driving. Anyway, I opened iTunes, started the song Prestidigitation (both because it's a soundtrack song and because I like the name) and got back to work.

A very few songs later, shuffle wound up in the Caedmon's Call section and started the song Manner and Means. I was just about to click next, when I listened to the first line for the first time in a long time: "The heart is a lonely thing to lose in the dead of the night."

Usually I just nod and either go on with life or go on to the next song. Yes, that's nice, so true, but that's not a big issue right now, and I'd rather listen to something more upbeat or something. Not today. For various reasons, losing your heart has been on my mind a lot for the past few days. I've seen in a new light both how easy it is to do, and how terribly it can hurt when the heart that you gave is broken.

So when iTunes suddenly gave me a mournful-sounding voice singing of losing her heart, I was intrigued. I immediately looked up the lyrics, and what I found was so shockingly applicable to me that I felt that I had to share them.

The heart is a lonely thing to lose in the dead of night
The heart is a sad thing to lose in the throws of a fight
The heart is the match to the fire
And the embers of desire, to keep it burning

I am a shell of the manner and the means
Mine is a story of nothing as it seems
But when we have come this far
And still don't know who we are, does it keep burning?

When it's over, and you see it with your eyes
Would you rather have the truth or a lie?

I call for angels to breathe holy on this rust
I call the snakes to come out slowly from the brush
I need a massive overhaul
A revival to fall, to keep it burning

The heart is a costly thing to sell in the prime of the years
And my heart is thinly veiled in the usual fears
The heart is the dream, and the kiss
That there could be more than this, to keep it burning

When it's over, and you see it with your eyes, would you rather have the truth or a lie? Very often I'd rather have a lie. It's so easy to let your heart go after a mirage, so easy to blind yourself to every flaw until you've painted for yourself someone completely unlike the person you've given your heart to.

Well, that's all I have for now. Maybe I'll expound on this further at a later time. I'd like to clarify that I know that eventually there will be someone to whom I can give my heart to, and I'm eagerly awaiting that day. Until then, though, I can't throw my love to every guy I see. That's pretty much all I'm trying to say. Again, I must stress that you don't have to worry about me, I haven't had my heart broken. ;)

On the Experience of Facebook Withdrawals

So I gave up Facebook for Lent... and it's killing me.

This is SO HARD! I want to know what's going on out there! AUGH! I feel like I've suddenly lost all connections to the outside world. Almost Helen Keller-ish. I knew I had an addiction, but this is ridiculous!

Granted, it has led me to be praying a lot more today. In between studying and such, my day has pretty much gone like so:

*Wiggles finger on mousepad to turn off screensaver*
No Facebook! No connection with anyone! Ahhh!
*Remembers Who is most important to stay connected with, and prays*

That doesn't change the fact that a bazillion fantastic ideas for status updates have gone through my head today, or that I want to upload a picture of ashes on my forehead.

When it comes down to the nitty gritty, though, I would rather have a good relationship with my Lord than ever mess with Facebook again.

Zounds. Mrs. K just commented on my status... stupid email updates...

Anyway, this has all been an excellent reminder to me that I am but dust, and to dust I shall return. I don't have the fortitude to give up 40 days of my social life without help and accountability. How on earth could I save myself? I am in desperate need of a Saviour, my friends. Desperate need.

At least maybe now I'll be better about writing on my blog. I haven't done much of anything since I joined Facebook.