But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility... Eph. 2:13-14

Wednesday, May 16

Today is a good day.

I know that I should be doing something else right now, but I’m so happy that I have to jot down something right now, and my laptop is open, so I figure typing would be faster than writing it down by hand.

GOD IS SO GOOD! Here I sit on my bed, listening to worship songs and hearing the wind blow through the trees outside. This is an extension of my Bible study. This is how I should feel always... filled with Him.
So often I ignore Him and go on with my life without Him, but it’s impossible. I’m miserable. And then I want to come back, but I know it will hurt, so I keep putting it off and putting it off and I get farther and farther away from Him. Then His Word doesn’t matter, prayer doesn’t matter, true joy (and not passing happiness) doesn’t exist. I’m disrespectful to my parents, I’m lazy and won’t do my work, I’m cruel to friends and family (if not in action then in thought - which will lead into action). And I’m miserable.

And then I know that there is no other way to get my life back together than to repent. It’s like having a broken bone heal wrong - I have to be broken again so that I can grow straight.

And sometimes I can convince myself that everything has been put back in order and everything should be good again... but it’s not.

And then I truly repent. It hurts, yes, but then I know that everything has been forgiven and taken care of, and life is so much more sweet.

So here I am this morning, so thankful to be His child - and so unworthy.

Everything is so beautiful outside, the birds are cheeping, the wind is blowing, the sun is shining through thick, leafy branches and making blotches of shade on the brown/green ground than run all over as the wind blows. This is raw nature; no picture can capture the life in this. This is what God created, not the death, but the life. When you’re inside everything is dead. Dead walls. Dead chair. Dead floor. Dead electronics. But outside everything is alive.

God has given us this gift, and right now I feel like He gave it to me. I love His Creation because He made it. And my heart bleeds for those who cannot know this joy.

Oh God, Thank YOU!!! May Your Name be praised in all the earth!

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