Mexico Journal, 2007

I'm Back! Here's my journal:

Tuesday, June 19th, 2007
Dear Journal,
Reached Texas @ 4:00 pm
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[note to self]

Ask Sonic to upgrade [my town's sonic] to look cool like the one in San Antonio
flags
silverish
and SCREEN
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Thursday, June 21st, 2007
Dear Journal,
Wow. A LOT has happened already, and we haven't even been to the church yet.

Right now a bunch of people are having a time of prayer in the boys' room, but the W. kids are too tired.

Everything is so much better this year. Sure, I started out crabby, but I've gotten a lot closer to God. I really love our group. Our huge group is divided into Small Groups:
One of a lot of people
One of a lot of people and led by my parents
& one of FOUR people (including me)

Each Small Group is in charge of at least one day in Mexico (my group has two). We have a lesson, a craft, and recreation. Stef and I are in charge of crafts. On the first day we're doing puppets and the next day we're doing masks.

This morning was our first together [everyone got in yesterday evening].

We had devotionals and sang and then practiced the Freedom Drama. For some reason Texas is extremely humid, so it's nice if you're just sitting there, but I've never sweat so much in my life as during that Drama!

We met a couple and their grandkids and told them where we're going and stuff. It turns out that their son is at the hotel to go on a mission trip, himself (in all we met 2 other teams). It was a lot of fun, and the lady (who, by the way, had a GREAT name) insisted on getting pictures of us with her grandkids. Then we exchanged addresses (but my copy was accidentaly thrown away).

Hopefully I'll get a chance to write tomorrow.

tired now.

have 2 get up early 4 Starbucks

G'night!

My God is a God of the Covenant!

PRAISE HIM!!!
*************************************
Friday, June 22nd, 2007
Dear Journal,
I don't have much time. I just got done with morning devotional. It was awesome. Denny talked about discipline, and then we prayed for kids that we'd met in Mexico.

Last night Mr. White did our evening devotional. It was about God's covenant (mainly about the covenant in itself). That was awesome. So far this trip has been like going to a really cool conference! Coming early has given us a lot of time to pray.

I'm so excited to see what God is going to do on this trip!
---------HERE THERE IS A STICKER THAT HAS MY NAME ON IT, FOLLOWED BY (Cent.) I RECEIVED IT @ TO EVERY TRIBE-------

www.tomsshoes.com

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Saturday, June 23rd, 2007
Dear Journal,
Holy, holy, HOLY is the LORD, God Almighty.
Here I am in The-middle-of-nowhere, Mexico, and all I can think about is how gread GOD is! I know that it's not just the fact thta the weather is cool. I am sitting a foot off a ground infested with cockroaches this: I------------------------------I big (at least). And that's the bug I despise most. I was hot and sweaty, am using a toilet with out a seat, crunched a millipede and really had the kind of day I hate - but I LOVED IT!!!

We have worshiped so much! I'm so in love with God right now! Tonight our singing was so wonderful (I sang with so much emotion and love that my ears hurt - but not from the sound) that I honestly thought that I might be in Heaven.

In the first evening we have gotten responses that we usually get on the last evening.

HOW GREAT THOU ART!!!
-everyone's tired - must sleep - praise God!
Sarah

+++++++++++++++++++++++
Lunes, June 25th, 2007
Dear Journal,
I don't have much time. Im sorry I missed yesterday.

Yesterday Mom and Dad's small group did the lesson.

A little boy pointed to himself, a heart on his desk and then to me.

It rained big time but didn't last long. One of four predicted 'hurricanes' by Evelyn (one of our translators).

It is very windy and very wonderful

Today my small group was in charge of Bible School. The skits Ben wrote were a big hit and EVERYONE wanted to make a puppet - teenage boys and our group included. We played Ultimate Frisbee (which I stink at) and Stef got dehydrated. I've been dehydrated off and on.

I think the boys are doing a good job looking out for the girls.

Our worship is wonderful!

I love listening to the little kids sing off-key. They keep trying to sing London Bridge is Falling Down in English, but they're just making nonsense noises. [They ended up singing "If they ask for Macaroni" - In Spanish - because that's what it sounded like we were saying!]

Tonight we watched a long movie that went through La Biblia from creation to Jesus & Pentecost. Everyone's exhausted.

God is so good!

!El Dios es siempre bueno! (that first exclamation point should be upside down - not possible on here)

People are praying for me, I can tell.

Buenos Noches (did I spell all that right?)

Sarah
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Martes, June 26th, 2007
Dear Journal,
Today was muy bueno. I slept very late and missed breakfast finishing the preparation for Escuela de La Biblia. Then we had our meeting.

I was kinda out of it (half asleep/dehydrated) but our worship was still sweet.

For lunch some of our group had been invited to someone else's home to eat, including my sister. I took her place. Wow the food is good here!

Anyway, I tired something new. Apparently they put hot sauce and chili powder on their fruit. They were serving us watermelon, so I had some of the mildest stuff. It wasn't very bad. (Ha, you probably thought I was going to say it wasn't very GOOD - fooled you!)

After we returned from lunch and visiting we headed to for E.Z. (another town very close to Cenentario) and did the Drama. During the Drama we (the evil knights in rebellion) are defeated by the Gentle Ruler's good knights and fall down (sort of) backwards. Well, when I dropped I lost balance and landed hard on my left wrist (just so you know, it's been hurting me off and on for a while). It hurt so bad I thought I broke it. I was scared to death, because the evil knights are required to fall down at another time, too - and I couldn't'. Praise God, it turned out well! I managed to fall with out my wrist.

So when we got back to Centenario we put ice on it and I took ibuprofen an hour later because it still hurt REALLY bad. And mom wrapped it up for me. So now my arm looks mummified. But it doesn't hurt. (it's not wrapped up anymore, and it doesn't hurt hardly ever - I'm going to have it looked at soon)

Anyway - hey, why do I always begin my paragraphs with 'anyway'? oh well - there's this cute little boy named Jorge and Kim was calling him 'Bebe' (I think that last 'e' should have a tick mark, but I don't know) so for awhile it was just her teasing him, but then he started calling her Madre (do I need a tick mark? I don't know). So then we were teaching him names of relatives in English (I got stuck as Grandma - but hey it's a nickname, which means you're accepted down here). It was all really fun, but then some crazier niNos (that 'N' should have a squiggly over it) got too worked upt and we couldn't get them under control. Gracias SeNor por los... guys. (how would you say that in Spanish? Oh yeah, the N needs a squiggly).

The guys were VERY helpful.

have 2 go. Night! Sarah
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Padre te adoro/Father, I adore You

Padre te adoro
Pon me vida ante ti
Como te amo

Cristo
Espiritu

(above the lyrics I have the counting written out)

Father, I adore You
Lay my life before You
How I love You

Jesus
Spirit

Sarah - via Carol (one of our translators)
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Mr. Postman, bring to me
A copy of the ESV
I just can't wait any longer
I need the Bible to grow stronger

Milk, Milk, Milk,
Drink the Milk, milk, milk
Eat the Word, Word, Word,
And grow stronger...
(this is the song that everyone sang)

"The only good thing
about being dumb is
that it makes magic
better"

"If you have to make
time for God, you don't
have enough time to begin with."

"Those who plan to meet
God at the 11th hour often
die at 10:30"

(Quotes Ben likes)
000000000000000000000000000

Thursday:
I have things written down about how sad I am that we're leaving, a sticker that has a donald duck head stamped on it, and Evelyn's phone number.
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Friday, June 29th, 2007
Dear Journal,
Well, we're headed home. I guess I should write about the last two days, but I get so sad when I think of what I'm leaving. I've already cried. I can't again. I'm gonna get dehydrated if any more water comes out of my eyes. Why does it have to hurt to love and leave? Man. Here are more tears.

Well, since that's painful, I will write about now. A little while ago I saw a long puddle. The water was still and in it I saw a long streak of blue sky and beautiful fluffy clouds. It was so beautiful. I thought: "Lord, the sky is amazing, I can't take my eyes away. But this isn't the sky, it's just a reflection. Why am I so in love with the reflection, but not the real deal?" Then the puddle ended suddenly and I instinctively looked up. I have never seen clouds as beautiful as these. They're amazing. They make my heart ache, like when I hear beautiful music. There's something Heaven-pointing about them. I used to call that horrible, wonderful longing 'depression', but it's not. It's that feeling that makes you cry and laugh You want it to go on forever, but you don't think you can take anymore.

Lord, please make me a puddle.

Sarah
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
My Letter thing from Ben:

Sara.

I enjoyed being in your Small group. You always have very interesting, thoughtful comments. It was also great having you around because often you were the only one able to understand and appreciate my complex, intelligent sense of humor. The wise, off-handed remarks you threw out want to make me encourage you to continue your writing. God has given you a gift. Continue to use it to Glorify Him.

Ben H. 6/28/07
Hebrews 13:2
your dad has my contact info
99999999999999999999999999999

I had to put this down so that I won't lose it. Hebrews 13: 2 was our Small Group verse:
"Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."

To explain the complex, intelligent sense of humor thing: Ben makes humorous comments constantly, and many times people didn't get them - even though they were really funny. He's engaged, but his Fiance didn't get to come (I think it was work-related or something). I wish she could have. I'm sure she would have been a lot of fun.

Hey look, that cloud looks like a squid!

Wow. That one looks just like a mushroom.

MonkeyLion's new wife couldn't come either. That was a shame, too. The other girls know her, but I don't except by sight.

Hey, I have something to add to the puddle thing (analogy). I just saw a dirty puddle. A dirty puddle can't reflect the sky. Not even when you're looking for it. Maybe a hint of the outline of a cloud - nothing more.

Sorry, I never explained the MonkeyLion thing. His real name is Denny (I mentioned him before - he did a morning devotional). Well, ok, his real NICKNAME is Denny - but the kids in Mexico call him ChangoLeon (I don't know how to spell it) -MonkeyLion. They call him that because he does flips in the Drama and he has some blonde facial hair - a mane...

Lo Siento. A Robert Earl King (did I spell any of that right?) song about an illegal alien just played and it made me cry.
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So ends my journal. Don't worry, I'm not quite as emotional about it now. Yesterday morning was kinda hard, because there was a Spanish service at church in the morning and we sang a song that we sang in Mexico (Dios de pactos - God of the Covenant). Hearing our voices and Aaron's (our Fearless Leader :-D ) singing in Spanish made me get choked up, because I knew when I opened my eyes that I wasn't going to be in Mexico.
But, like I said, I'm better.

If I left out anything you wanted to know about, please contact me and let me know!

God Bless!

The Night before the Day before the Trip to Mexico

It's that time again! Yup, day after tomorrow we begin our journey, only we won't be going into Mexico for a couple of days after that. I'm going to try to keep a better journal for you this year.

But that's not why I'm on.

I'm on because I have an assignment due on the day that we'll either be home that night or the next day. WHICH means that I must send it early, WHICH means that I must finish it. Tonight.

I have most of it done, but part of it I have no idea what to put. I have to write a very difficult article and all I have is the Introduction and the Conclusion. Well. I can't really remember all of the examples I was going to use and stuff. It's horrible. I guess you must get sick of my AHHH! blog posts, but hey, I don't really have any readers (well, sometimes I do, but not often), so you won't really care much.

But yeah, I'm desperate.

And tired.

AND I HAVEN'T PRACTICED PIANO!!!!

great.

Well, God loves to show His power, and He's gonna have to to get anywhere with me!

If you happen to get on here, please pray for me.

Night!

On Last Night's Dream

Last night I had many dreams, but the last one really affected me.

I've recently watched... well I don't want to ruin it for you, so I won't give the title. But in the movie a certain man ends up being twins, and this explains everything, blah, blah, blah. Well, I was dreaming about him and he was making everything right that had gone wrong in the movie (again, I can't tell much because it would ruin the movie for you) but then it wasn't the guy from the movie. It was my biological father.

I guess I haven't really talked about him much on here, but I don't talk about him much usually. He died when I was very young.

Anyway, I couldn't really see him, I mean, I sort of could, but it didn't look like him. And I had all of these memories that I had forgotten rushing up on me - real memories, not fake ones - and it was overwhelming, so I was crying.

Well, to explain, it turned out that my Daddy had a twin and it was his twin that died. I haven't really figured out where he was all that time, I guess maybe in jail, because EVERYONE in the dream before that was in jail, but I don't know.

So to continue, I was having trouble remembering some things and it made me sad (like it usually does) but then it was OK, because he was back, so it didn't matter about the memories.

Then at the end I had my eyes closed and I was trying to hug him but he was being pulled away and I was grabbing for him and I managed to touch his arm... and then my alarm went off.

When I woke up I didn't have time to realize that it was ALL a dream, so my first thought was, 'Oh well, he's back. It doesn't matter.' But then I realized that he wasn't, and that was really hard to take. But my life really is great, I've been blessed with so many that love me. And Daddy isn't in pain anymore, and he's with God. Sometimes that makes me jealous (not that I want to die, but I DO want to be in Heaven).

So I was reading my Bible this morning and praying about that dream and thinking about how much I love my dad (that adopted me) and how all things work together for the good of those who love HIM, and how everything in the past was OK because my dad was back from the dead. Then it hit me: if I was so happy because of the return of a physical father, how much happier will I be when my Heavenly Father returns?

Can you imagine? I mean, I always thought that the first thing that I'd think about when I was with Him would be how great He is or how undeserving I am, but now I think that I'm just going to be so happy to see Him that that's all I'll think: You're here! You're finally back! I love You! Thank You! You're here!

I've been studying Revelation and at the end of chapter 3 there is the letter from Christ to the church at Laodicea. It is a rebuke, but at the end He says: "'He who overcomes, I will grant to him to sit down with Me on My throne, as I overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.'" Revelation 3:21 NASB
Well, I guess it doesn't necessarily mean this, but the first thing I thought when I read this verse was of sitting on His lap. I guess it's weird, but that sounds like the best reward I could ever receive. And still, even if I'm not on His lap, just being close to Him sounds wonderful!

Someday everything that's happened, all of the pain and the struggles and the ups and the downs won't matter. "Oh well, He's back. It doesn't matter anymore."

"Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight!"

God is so good! I just wish that I would always feel this in love with Him!

(I'm sorry that my entries are so long. Hopefully this one was worth your time.)

Today is a good day.

I know that I should be doing something else right now, but I’m so happy that I have to jot down something right now, and my laptop is open, so I figure typing would be faster than writing it down by hand.

GOD IS SO GOOD! Here I sit on my bed, listening to worship songs and hearing the wind blow through the trees outside. This is an extension of my Bible study. This is how I should feel always... filled with Him.
So often I ignore Him and go on with my life without Him, but it’s impossible. I’m miserable. And then I want to come back, but I know it will hurt, so I keep putting it off and putting it off and I get farther and farther away from Him. Then His Word doesn’t matter, prayer doesn’t matter, true joy (and not passing happiness) doesn’t exist. I’m disrespectful to my parents, I’m lazy and won’t do my work, I’m cruel to friends and family (if not in action then in thought - which will lead into action). And I’m miserable.

And then I know that there is no other way to get my life back together than to repent. It’s like having a broken bone heal wrong - I have to be broken again so that I can grow straight.

And sometimes I can convince myself that everything has been put back in order and everything should be good again... but it’s not.

And then I truly repent. It hurts, yes, but then I know that everything has been forgiven and taken care of, and life is so much more sweet.

So here I am this morning, so thankful to be His child - and so unworthy.

Everything is so beautiful outside, the birds are cheeping, the wind is blowing, the sun is shining through thick, leafy branches and making blotches of shade on the brown/green ground than run all over as the wind blows. This is raw nature; no picture can capture the life in this. This is what God created, not the death, but the life. When you’re inside everything is dead. Dead walls. Dead chair. Dead floor. Dead electronics. But outside everything is alive.

God has given us this gift, and right now I feel like He gave it to me. I love His Creation because He made it. And my heart bleeds for those who cannot know this joy.

Oh God, Thank YOU!!! May Your Name be praised in all the earth!

My scattered, horror-stricken thoughts typed up, but without much rhyme or reason.

This actually isn't the big thing that I was going to write about (and I will get to it eventually). I just really feel like I should. Okay. Here we go.

I need to talk about violence, like, "fake" violence such as movies. Well, let's just start with movies. Okay, how many kids 10 or under do you know that watch movies today that you would NEVER be able to watch? I just went to see Spiderman 3 last night. It's easier to watch than 2 (or at least I thought so) simply because there isn't a scene like the hospital scene in 2. Nothing like that. Just plain violent, not my-nightmares-go-something-like-this stuff. But it was still violent. People are blown up, chopped up and run into walls at a rate that makes you wonder if the writers forgot there was such a thing as a concussion. AND CHILDREN WATCH THIS. Okay, I realize that some boys take a while to hit a growth spurt and guys that are fifteen can look like they're eleven, but they don't look like they're nine. Or if you want to go back to a different violent movie (Star Wars Episode III) they don't look like the're... oh,... I'd say about six. Yeah. Just because they can watch the old Star Wars doesn't mean anything for the darker movies of today. Just because it's based on a comic book doesn't mean it's for kids.

But do you want to know what scares me in all of this?

These kids, you know, the ones way younger than me, THEY'RE LESS AFFECTED THAN I AM BY THE VIOLENCE.

Now, you must understand that I was born with one of those blessing/curse things that you find in movies. Mine is an extremely vivid imagination. So violence affects me; like, if someone is getting stabbed, I can get pretty close to knowing how they feel, so I feel really bad for them. And some things just affect me. For instance, my parents took me to Chicago for my birthday and we went to Medieval Times (which was SO much fun). At Medieval Times they have a torture chamber museum thing, and so I wanted to go. And so we went. My whole family. Even my little brother and sister. And I saw things... and I get sick at the thought of it. AND MY SIBLINGS SAW IT!... AND MY BROTHER WASN'T AFFECTED AT ALL! After I rushed through it all I wanted was to keep him from seeing it. To keep him from seeing the horror that my mind was giving me. And I couldn't.

Well, I mixed up subjects there, but now you know my side of watching violence - I'm more affected.

The rest of the world? They aren't affected.

Because it's common.

Okay, I'll talk about Video Games. Specifically, I'll pick on Marvel: Ultimate Alliance (my siblings and I just bought it). This game consists of killing bad guys. At first they're robots, so it's cool. But then they're human. And your powers get scarier, so you're zapping the brains out of one or grabbing them with your web and using them as a weapon. Now I don't think about it while I'm playing, so we just keep going on and on and on. And then my brother starts talking. And I realize that the violence has had its effect. He loves it.

When a kid says something like "There's only a little bit of blood" or even "There's no blood" you've got trouble. They ascociate violence with blood. Just to let you know, something can be VERY violent and have no blood at all. So what is violence, anyway?

Violence |ˈvī(ə)ləns| noun behavior involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something.

Yeah, I'll agree with that definition.

You can't just say that something is "fake". The point of a movie is to seem as real as possible, so while you're watching it (especially if you're young) that movie isn't fake. When war is going on in your backyard, you don't want your children to see. You don't want your children to start shooting at people. You don't want them beating people up. So why do you give them these roll models?

When you're a kid (or at least I was like this), you want to be tough, you want to be able to handle the violence. Then you see it, you can't handle it, you flip. Then you laugh at yourself, you talk yourself into believing that it's not that bad. Then you go back and watch it again. And it's not that bad.

Things need to be "that bad". Violence is shocking because it's wrong. Death is shocking because it's wrong. No one should be able to see someone die by being horribly mutilated and not be affected (I understand that this is sometimes nessesary for people in medical professions and people who fight in wars - I am not trying to say that they are wrong, actually they should be admired because they can handle it).

People are like the Romans with their gladiators. Nothing ever changes.

But please don't let your children see too much violence. Just because they CAN handle it doesn't mean they SHOULD.

Sorry. I'd love to say more. I'm just too sad.